cry.

I want to cry.

The past week, I've probably been called 'useless' and 'not worth the effort' more than anything else in my entire life.
Is it really my fault if I went over 30 minutes in my first week? Especially if the bulk of that was during unlimited calling.
Lost $50.
It wasn't suppose to be ours in the first place you know.
But still
you gave me the look of detest.
The look that tells the person, 'you're some useless pile of shit, why the hell did i even raise you.'

thanks mom.
thanks.

this is probably the most painful thing you've done to me.
probably worse than giving birth.
the mental pain hurts more than just momentum physical pain.

&you, who called.
don't worry.
it's not your fault.
it's mine.

because everything that goes wrong in my family is my fault.

-Rem.